


An Ocean Between Us

by Forever_in_Your_Heart



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Drama, F/M, RMS Titanic, Romance, Titanic AU, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-12-17 05:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_in_Your_Heart/pseuds/Forever_in_Your_Heart
Summary: if this is the ship of dreams, then you, my darling, are my dream come true





	1. And All the World Was Gold

_An Ocean Between Us_

Thursday, April 11, 1912 _  
And All the World Was Gold_

Madge’s stomach tossed unhappily, churning like the sea.

She felt a little too hot, the brisk wind doing little to cool her down. She fanned herself with her hand and wished her heart would stop sprinting in her chest. _Relax_ she thought but it did no good. Any moment now, the _Titanic_ would appear on the horizon, ready to take Madge and her family across the ocean to America.

It was a terrifying thought.

Ireland was the only home she’d ever known. She’d never travelled abroad, had barely ever left her tiny, miniature pinprick of a village. She could count the times she’d ventured out on one hand, and twice were here to Queenstown, today to catch the ship and once to buy their tickets. Sailing all the way to a new country, a new continent even, was profoundly frightening. It wasn’t that she didn’t like to travel, she’d always dreamed of seeing more of the world, but this wasn’t travelling, it was leaving, never to return. What if it didn’t work out? Would they fit into this new country, its culture? Would they be any better off than they were here?

 _America is the land of opportunity_ , her father had said but Madge couldn’t help but wonder how much opportunity was really left after all of these years of people seeking it.

“Any minute now,” Delly Cartwright said from Madge’s right, her voice shivering with excitement. Madge peeked over at her, Delly’s whole frame quaking with anticipation. They’d grown up next door to each other and it was the Cartwrights’ decision to book passage that had inspired her father. While Madge was glad to know she’d have at least one friend in America, she couldn’t help but feel a little sour towards Delly and her family. It wasn’t their fault, not really, but without them, Madge’s father never would have decided to uproot their family.

 _Think how much better off we’ll be there,_ he’d said and Madge sincerely hoped he was right. They’d sold nearly everything they had to finance their Second Class passage, if they couldn’t find that vaunted ‘opportunity’ in America, they’d be left with nothing at all.

“There it is!” Delly squealed and Madge couldn’t help but gasp. It was _huge_. She’d heard it was big, of course she had, but this was beyond big, it was beyond any word Madge could conjure up. It was like a floating city and everyone crowding up the pier leaned forward in awe. Madge stared, even her misgivings temporarily silenced. She could definitely understand why they’d labeled it ‘unsinkable’.  What could possibly sink such a ship?

It was much, much too big to pick them up in the harbor, as such, tenders would ferry them from the pier. The three First Class passengers would go first of course, followed by Madge, her parents and Delly and her family, the seven of them the only Second Class passengers boarding in Queenstown. After them would come the one hundred and thirteen Third Class passengers and Madge could understand why her parents would prefer Second Class to Third, after all, who wouldn’t? But still, she almost wished they’d booked Third Class instead and saved a little more for their arrival in New York.

Madge shook her head. She was _such_ a Nervous Nellie. Delly squeezed her hand as the first tender drew near and Madge tried to smile.

_This is it._

* * *

 

“Come on, come on,” Delly said, tugging on Madge’s arm. “We need to get up top!”

Madge rolled her eyes but allowed Delly to pull her along, leading them up onto one of _Titanic_ ’s higher decks. There were people crowding along the railings and the wind was sharper here than it had been in the harbor, the sun seemingly brighter. Madge and Delly wedged themselves between a couple of people and there, off in the distance, was Ireland.

“Look at us, sea breeze in our hair and waving our final goodbyes to Ireland,” Delly said, eyes shining with joy. Madge felt a throb in her chest. “Goodbye Ireland, you’ve been great!” Delly called, the wind carrying her laughter back to Queenstown. Madge found it difficult to summon up similar exuberance. Instead, she merely looked at the island she’d always called home and promised herself she wouldn’t cry.

“Goodbye Ireland,” she whispered, voice lost in the general cacophony around her.

_Goodbye Home_

* * *

 

The _Titanic_ was officially out to sea now, Ireland and all the rest of Europe left behind.

Madge and Delly stood outside in the dissipating crowd, their old home fading into the horizon.

“Well, we’ve got plenty of time until dinner, how about a quick gander ‘round the ship?” Delly asked and Madge nodded, trying hard to banish her melancholy.

“Though I doubt it’ll be quick, isn’t this supposed to be the biggest ship…ever?” she pointed out, forcing her tone to be cheery and Delly shrugged.

“Well, we won’t bother with the Third Class areas, there can’t be anything exciting down there, or it wouldn’t be in Third Class.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“I’m not saying it to be mean! I’m just saying that all the really exciting stuff is reserved for First Class. They even have all of A Deck to themselves; our staircase doesn’t even have an entrance to that deck! I suppose we’re not good enough for mingling. Then again, I hear Second Class here is like First Class anywhere else.”

Madge snorted. “Oh really? And I’ll bet third class is like second class everywhere else?”

Delly shrugged, lips quirking up in the corners. “So I’ve heard.”

“Hmph, I wonder if the third class passengers would agree,” Madge wondered and Delly shrugged again.

“Would you like to go and ask them?” she suggested and Madge rolled her eyes. Delly clapped her hands. “Now, come along, you’re as slow as molasses! I hear there’s a pool, a library, even a workout room! Not that I know why you’d want a workout room, I mean, this is meant to be a vacation…”

Madge nodded along as they made their way towards the back of the ship. They were on the Boat Deck, the sides crowded with lifeboats. Madge knew the sight should be reassuring, but instead it made her nervous, forcing her to remember that they were on a boat in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. They could sink at any moment and even though she knew it was unlikely, knew ocean liners made crossings all the time without incident; she was still more than a little terrified.

“And just for your information, we do have our own library, lounge and smoke room, not that either one of us smokes, but it’s the principal of the thing…”

They’d reached the second class promenade deck, at the rear of the ship, and below them Madge could see the Poop Deck, where the Third Class passengers could mill about and get some fresh air. Her eyes skipped over them as Delly continued to talk, something about parlor suites, and she wasn’t really looking at them, more like glancing, when her roving gaze suddenly jerked to a stop on one particular boy.

He was tall, perhaps a year or two older than she and Delly with very dark hair just peeking out from below his cap. Madge’s stomach did something funny as she looked at him leaning against the railing, the breeze tickling loose hairs and ruffling his shirt.

And then he looked at her.

His head turned absently and their eyes met, her face heating up instantly. She couldn’t make out his eye colour from so far away, but she felt a little unsteady, the deck not quite solid beneath her feet. She couldn’t actually tell if he saw her, if maybe he was just looking in her direction and didn’t even notice her standing there. Either way, she couldn’t bring herself to look away and time seemed to stop until Delly finally snapped her back to reality.

“Hello? Anyone alive in there?” she asked, waving a hand in front of Madge’s face. She flushed, face hot with embarrassment.

“Yes, yes, sorry,” Madge apologized, dragging her gaze away from the boy. Delly narrowed her eyes and turned, clearly trying to figure out what had caught her attention.

“What’s so interesting?” she asked and Madge burned an even darker red.

“Nothing, nothing,” she said hurriedly. “Did you say we had a library?”

Delly turned back to her with a suspicious frown.

“Yes…”

“Wonderful, doesn’t that sound just…grand? Why don’t we go visit?”

Madge winced at her own forced enthusiasm and Delly frowned at her a moment more.

“Oh, alright, don’t tell me,” she finally said, allowing Madge to take her arm. They started towards the doors for inside and Madge determinedly didn’t turn around to see if that boy was still there. Delly began explaining something about the second class staircase they were about to use and Madge nodded, happy they’d found a new topic.

Even still, she couldn’t quite get that boy out of her head.

* * *

 

They spent the rest of the day exploring, canvassing the ship and Madge almost forgot all her worries. _Titanic_ was truly magnificent, most assuredly the ‘ship of dreams’. She couldn’t help but feel a little inspired as she made her way through its carefully crafted interiors, couldn’t help beginning to believe in America and the golden opportunities it offered. This was the start of something new and exciting, a brand new life unlike any she could have imagined.

She would hold on to that.

(she’d have to)

* * *

 

The ocean was black like ink, spilled out in every direction as far as the eye could see.

Madge found it terrifying, so deep, dark and foreboding, but also reassuring, so calm and smooth like glass. It was late, the ship quiet and she was leaning on the railing on their promenade deck, the cool night air clearing her mind. Her parents had joined the Cartwrights in a night of cards and Madge knew she should be there with them, but she’d needed a moment, sudden sadness overwhelming her. She’d never thought she was particularly attached to Ireland, but now, all she could feel was an aching homesickness that filled her top to bottom.

_I’ll come back, someday._

She looked up at the stars, glowing bright and beautiful through the clouds. They, at least, looked just like the ones from home. She felt suddenly small and lonely, entirely insignificant in the great, wide world around her. _Look at all those stars, the vastness of the ocean. What am I in comparison to that?_

She shook her head and summoned up her earlier inspiration. _Alright, that’s enough. Feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to change anything._ She nodded and squeezed the railing as she pushed herself upright, determined to at least try and enjoy herself. They were going to America whether she liked it or not, no point in being miserable about it. She turned, intent on heading to Delly’s cabin and trouncing everyone at cards when she nearly screamed. She had thought she was alone, but clambering up over the railing only about four feet from her was a boy and her eyes widened, her  mouth dropped open and a shriek began building in her throat.

“Don’t scream!” he hissed in panic as he pulled himself all the way over. Strangely, she didn’t, her mouth snapping shut as he straightened. She blinked at him and _oh no, it can’t be._ It was the boy from earlier, with his sturdy shoulders, lovely jaw and even nicer arms. Madge immediately went scarlet. _Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no._ He looked at her, her skin prickled and she desperately cast about for something to say.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” she blurted and then winced as he bristled.

“And why would you say that?” he asked, posture stiffening defensively.

 _Good job Madge, excellently done,_ she grumbled to herself and hurriedly tried to come up with something to salvage the situation. She rarely spoke to boys and never alone at night, but there was something about this one that made her feel both bold and shy at the same time. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she very much wanted him to smile at her.

“Well, if you were, you probably wouldn’t need to climb over the rail, would you?” she asked, pleased at how her nerves didn’t shine through her voice. He softened instantly, a grin starting to tug at his mouth.

“Alright, I suppose I’ll give you that.”

She bit her lip, could feel a smile trying to bloom out over her face and his eyes moved over her, heating her whole body as they swept across her.

“Are you going to report me?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his voice that made her stomach flutter.

“I should,” she answered, couldn’t stop her smile from breaking through. He grinned fully, her heart thudding at the sight.

“But you won’t.”

“No, I won’t.”

They stared at each other a moment and his eyes were the loveliest silver she’d ever seen, the kind she could happily get lost in.

“You’ve got a much better view up here,” he said and though he gestured out at the sky, his eyes stayed locked with hers. She nodded.

“I came up last night too, but there was no one here then,” he continued and that meant he’d gotten on in Southampton or Cherbourg, but she’d bet on Southampton. His accent was definitely English, but she knew too little of accents to say exactly where in England.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your nightly ritual,” she replied, strangely confident in front of this total stranger. His grin seemed to grow and she wondered if she was imagining that he took a step nearer.

“I think I can forgive you…” he trailed off, clearly waiting for her name and she knew she shouldn’t give it, but something about this boy was making her foolish.

“Madge.”

“Madge,” he repeated, her name sounding so much better in his voice than anyone else’s. “I’m Gale.”

 _Gale._ She rolled it around in her head and instantly liked the sound of it. Laughter came from somewhere behind her and he broke their gaze to look over her shoulder and down the deck.

“Well,” he said, “I should probably get going.”

She felt herself wilt even though she knew it was ridiculous to be so attached to a boy she’d only exchanged a few words with.

“I was lucky it was you who caught me, but I better not risk anyone else coming by.”

She nodded and he was right of course, even if she was a little disappointed. He moved to the railing and took hold of it, Madge trying vainly to keep her face neutral. He turned to her suddenly, grin mischievous.

“I’ll you around then, Madge,” he said with a wink that made her heart skip a beat and then promptly leapt right over the rail. Her eyes went perfectly round.

“ _Gale_!” she whisper-squealed, rushing over to the railing. She arrived just in time to see him land smartly on the deck below, entirely unruffled. He looked up and smirked, Madge’s stomach swooping. Her teeth dug into her lip to stop a smile and he tossed her a one fingered salute, backing away from her down the deck.

She watched him go until he was out of sight, her smile lingering long after she’d gotten back to her cabin.

* * *

 

 _Gale,_ she thought as she went to sleep that night.

It was entirely ridiculous, and more than a little improper, to be infatuated with a near stranger, but even so, she was.

Oh yes, she definitely was.


	2. A Little Like Catching Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yours is the one face i'll never forget

_An Ocean Between Us_

Friday, April 12 _  
A Little Like Catching Fire_

“My, my, someone’s in a good mood,” Delly said over breakfast and Madge froze, her egg sliding off her fork and flumping back onto her plate.

“What do you mean?” she asked, heat starting to climb up her neck. Delly nudged her, smirking.

“You’ve been smiling all morning. Had a good night?’

Madge blushed. “No, not at all. And why shouldn’t I be smiling?”

“You were miserable yesterday, have been ever since your parents decided to leave Ireland. I’m just curious to know what brought about your sudden change of mood.”

Madge bit her lip and peeked over at her parents, deep in conversation with Mr and Mrs Cartwright.

“Oh, alright,” she sighed but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a bit giddy about telling Delly about Gale. Delly leaned towards her eagerly.

“Last night, when I was on the promenade deck, this…boy came up, climbed over the railing.”

Delly’s eyes went wide.

“From Third Class?”

Madge nodded. “Yes, I actually…saw him before, earlier in the day.”

Delly gasped.

“That’s what you were staring at!”

Madge nodded again, cheeks flaming. “Yes. Anyway, he climbed up and well, we talked, only for a few minutes, but…oh Delly, he was _so_ handsome.”

Delly clapped her hands together with a smile.

“Are you going to see him again?”

Madge blinked in shock.

“Of course not!” she insisted, surprising even herself with her vehemence. Delly frowned.

“Why not? You liked him, didn’t you?”

“Well, it doesn’t…that’s not important! I barely know him, it would be highly inappropriate to spend time with him. And anyways, I know nothing about him and it’s not like we’ll ever see each other again after we get to America. What would be the point?”

Delly grabbed her hands and squeezed.

“Madge, listen to me. Now is the _perfect_ time. We’ve left behind our old life and the new one doesn’t start until we reach New York. The days we have here, this is when we should be doing things we never would normally-”

“If Father Brown could hear you now,” Madge interrupted, face red. Delly frowned at her, more serious than Madge could ever remember seeing her.

“Well he can’t. I’m just saying, if you like him, you should give it a chance.”

“I don’t,” Madge said firmly, even as her stomach swooped at the thought of his grin.

“Fine then,” Delly acquiesced, “I’ll leave it alone.”

“Thank you,” Madge said with a nod. They turned back to their food and it was for the best really. Everything she’d said was true. There wouldn’t be a point. She couldn’t be feeling anything but a slight, silly interest in him and there was no reason to pursue it.

Gale was best left behind.

(why then, did what she’d said to Delly feel less like the truth and far more like a script she’d spent her whole life preparing to read?)

* * *

 

“Alright, so I was thinking we’d go for a bit of a walk, get in some fresh air and then we could commandeer some deck chairs and read those books we got from the library. Then we’ll go for lunch and after, we can have a dip in the pool,” Delly rattled off and Madge laughed.

“You certainly have everything planned out.”

Delly grinned.

“I just want to make sure we make the best of our time here.”

They started off then, heading for their promenade deck and Madge did everything within her power to banish Gale from her thoughts. _Forget him._ _Just forget him._

(but that smile, those eyes, they were impossible to forget)

She allowed Delly to lead and when Madge looked up, she realized they’d reached the Second Class promenade deck. She couldn’t help but look over at the Third Class passengers milling about below them and _Oh. No._ There he was, Gale _,_ standing by the railing on the Poop Deck again, chatting with a boy about his age. She felt her heart jump and turned to Delly.

“You did this on purpose,” she accused and Delly shrugged.

“I just wanted to get a look at him, see if he really was as handsome as you said. So, which one is he?”

Madge frowned, thought about simply walking away but couldn’t. She pointed.

“Over there, by the rail.”

Delly’s whole face lit up.

“Well, aren’t they a pair of fine things. Which one is yours?”

“Neither,” Madge snapped and then inhaled sharply. “The one with the hat.”

Delly nodded approvingly.

“Very nice. I mean, personally, I think the other might be shade more handsome, but yours is still good.”

“Delly, he’s not mine. I’m never going to speak to him again.”

“Of course not,” Delly agreed. Madge breathed in again.

“Come on, weren’t we supposed to be commandeering deck chairs?”

“Of course,” Delly said and they moved off, arm in arm.

(but even with all her denials, Madge couldn’t help herself from looking back)

(forgetting might not be as easy as she’d hoped)

* * *

 

All day, Gale haunted her thoughts.

She was meant to be reading some romance she’d borrowed from the library, but every scene ended up twisted in her mind, Gale playing the handsome hero.

_“You are my lady love, my truest heart and there is no enemy I would not fight to keep you safe,” Gale said, holding her hand against his beating heart. Madge wept bitter tears, devastated at their inevitable parting._

_“Take my favour into battle, bravest of all knights,” she managed to say, tying her scarf to his gauntlet. “And carry all my love with it.”_

_Gale took her in his arms then, embracing her with-_

Madge slammed the book closed. She had to stop, her face so hot she was sure it could melt ice. Delly questioned her and Madge mumbled something about it being terrible, the thought of Gale sweeping her off her feet still fresh in her mind.

_Forget him, not fantasize about him!_

In the pool she kept wondering what he’d look like in a swimsuit and was appalled with herself. No well brought up young girl should be having such thoughts and yet there they were, ballooning up inside her without end. She could picture him standing by the edge, water glistening on the muscles she’d just gotten hints of beneath his clothes, wet hair shining in the bright lights and his smile charming. She dunked herself beneath the water but it did nothing to cool her down. She was actually surprised the water didn’t boil from the heat she could feel circulating through her, her whole body like a furnace.

Somehow, someway, Gale had wormed himself inside her and wouldn’t leave.

(but of course, if you asked, she’d say she barely remembered him at all)

(liar liar _liar_ )

* * *

 

Madge knew she was a hypocrite.

After all her talk to Delly about it being inappropriate and pointless, here she was again, sitting on the Second Class promenade deck just in case Gale came back. He wouldn’t of course; he’d said last night that it was too risky. Still, here she was and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t embarrassed. He was a stranger, a handsome stranger to be sure, but still a stranger. And yet, it seemed he’d somehow caused her to take complete leave of her senses.

The gossip there’d be if anyone ever found out… She shuddered. It was mortifying just to think about. Late night rendezvous with boys, oh her parents would just die if they knew. Not that it mattered, he wasn’t coming. Which was probably for the best. Definitely.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Madge nearly leapt off her bench, her heart jumping up into her throat. She would’ve screamed, except her voice seemed to have died of fright.

“I seem to be making a habit of scaring you out your skin,” Gale said with a laugh, righting himself after his climb up over the railing. Madge pressed a hand to her chest.

“You could have killed me,” she accused and Gale laughed again, Madge’s consternation fading at the sound. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and moseyed over, stopping just before he reached her bench. She looked up at him, a rush of warmth flooding through her.

“I thought you said it’d be too dangerous for you to come up here?” she asked and he shrugged.

“Some things are worth the risk.”

Her chest fluttered and then he grinned, leaning slightly towards her, his eyes glowing in a way that made her want to swoon.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Madge looked at him and there was something about him, not his looks, thought they were gorgeous, something else, something she couldn’t put her finger on but it made her trust him, always made her want to smile. Some essence of Gale that touched her every time they interacted.

“No,” she finally answered, failing to keep her own grin at bay. He smirked a little wider and then gestured at her bench.

“Mind if I join you?”

She shook her head and scooted over, shy in an excited way. Gale sat down, stretching his arms over the back of the bench and Madge felt hyper aware of everything around them. There were only a few inches between them and she burned, the side of her body tingling with his proximity. He was silent and Madge wasn’t sure what to say, so she followed his eyes, turning hers up to the stars. No one said a word and yet Madge couldn’t help but find this nice, something peaceful and comforting in the two of them just sitting here.

“It really takes my breath away,” she murmured and Gale nodded, a faint smiling pulling at his lips.

“It certainly does.” He turned to her and the shift caused his knee to brush hers, goosebumps tickling her skin. “You’re Irish then?’

She rolled her eyes.

“How’d you guess?”

He smirked.

“Oh you know, I’m very intuitive.”

She laughed.

“Definitely. And I’ll bet you’re English.”

“Brilliant deduction, I dunno how you do it.”

“It’s a gift.”

“Whereabouts in Ireland?” he asked and she found herself leaning slightly towards him, leg pressed against his.

“I’m certain you’ve never heard of it.”

His eyebrow went up, eyes lighting up with the challenge.

“Oh really? Lemme have a guess then.”

She gestured at him to go ahead, her smile refusing to dim. He narrowed his eyes in thought, tongue just poking out of his teeth. She couldn’t help but stare.

“Dublin?”

She shook her head.

“Alright…um, Belfast?”

She shook her head again.

“Queenstown?”

She shook her head for the third time, a laugh bubbling in her throat. He threw up his hands in surrender.

“Alright, you win. Where’re you from?”

“Well, you were close, it’s…somewhat near Queenstown. Well, they’re both in County Cork, at least. It’s called Ballycotton, it’s a very small fishing village.”

“Do you fish then?”

“No, I don’t much like boats.”

Gale snorted.

“So this is the perfect trip for you, then?”

“Yes, it’s going lovely so far. And what about you, where are you from?”

They were much closer now, their bodies touching all up the side.

“Have a guess,” he said and she bit her lip, Gale’s eyes drifting downwards.

“London?” she hazarded and he laughed.

“Look at you, first try!”

She beamed.

“I told you. I have a gift.”

“Course, London’s rather big. Bet you can’t guess which part of London,” he challenged and Madge shook her head, entirely clueless.

“You ever heard of Whitechapel?’ he asked and Madge paused for a second before it came to her.

“Oh! That’s where all those murders were, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. See, if Whitechapel’s the worst part of London, I’m from the second worst part. Stepney.” His voice lowered in distaste and Madge giggled into her hand.

“So it could be worse, then?” she asked, just managing to keep the mock serious tone of her voice.

“ _Terrible_ ,” he said, shaking his head even as they both laughed. “Alright then, Miss Irish, is it true you’re all as obsessed with potatoes as I’ve heard?”

She rolled her eyes at his teasing.

“What about you, do you do nothing but sit around drinking tea all day?”

He leaned in very close, so close she was sure she could tilt her head up and knock his nose if she tried.

“Do you not like tea?” he asked and he was so near she was sure she could count his eyelashes.

“I love it actually, I drink it all the time.”

He grinned.

“Well, if we’re being honest, I’m a total fiend for potatoes myself.”

She laughed and they shared a smile, every part of her feeling warm and happy. She looked up into his face and their eyes met, time seeming to slow all around her. _Kiss me,_ she thought suddenly, drowning in the silver of his gaze. That thought was entirely, totally scandalous, but she found she didn’t care. _Kiss me,_ she wanted to beg, felt like electricity was chasing through her veins. He moved closer again and she could feel his breathing, barely more than an inch between them.

“It’s getting late,” he murmured and she nodded.

“Yes, my parents are probably expecting me.”

Neither of them said a word, _kiss me_ echoing around inside of her. He hesitated a moment, her blood hummed and then

“I should go,” he said, “someone could come by. I’d hate to get you in trouble.”

She nodded, even as her whole body protested at his leaving.

 “Goodnight Madge,” he whispered, voice soft and sweet like a lazy summer breeze. His eyes lingered on her lips, yearning shaking her bones and then he pulled away, Madge’s limbs suddenly cold. He stood and so did she, like she was being pulled along in his wake. She watched him return to the rail, the memory of his silver eyes still making her blood warm. He looked back before he climbed over, a half smile painting his mouth. Their eyes met, held and Madge wished she had something worth saying, something to make him stay.

And then he was gone, her heart hammering in her chest.

 “Goodnight,” she breathed and never, in sixteen years of life, had any night been quite so good as this.


	3. The Endlessness of Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember this as the beginning

_An Ocean Between Us_

Saturday, April 13  
_The Endlessness of Tomorrow_

“Have you ever seen anything so blue?” Delly sighed, gazing out at the ocean. Madge shook her head, more than a little distracted. It was like there was a pebble in her shoe, small but irritating, constantly tugging at her thoughts. And that pebble was Gale.

Why hadn’t he kissed her last night? The most obvious answer would be that he hadn’t wanted to; after all, he’d had plenty of opportunity. Or maybe he was simply unsure if she’d wanted him to kiss her. She’d thought she was being obvious, but maybe not. Or it could be that he was being a gentleman, and they certainly didn’t go around kissing girls they’d only just met.

Or he just didn’t like her that much.

Madge almost screamed. Boys were much too confusing. Maybe she’d have been better off waiting for her parents to find some boy to marry her off to, instead of trying to talk to one now. She had no idea what to make of her and Gale’s encounter last night, wasn’t sure at all how she was supposed to feel. One thing she did know though, was that she couldn’t stand here any longer, her uncertain thoughts likely to drive her insane.

“I’m not feeling well, I think I’ll go lie down,” she said and Delly nodded.

“Alright, feel better.”

Any other day, Madge might have thought this suspicious. Delly was certainly the type to be more concerned about something like this, the kind who would escort her back to her room and try and look after her. At least the type who’d ask more questions. Madge didn’t think about any of that though, she was just grateful to get away without having to say anything. She wasn’t sure why, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Delly about Gale, couldn’t find the words. She hurried into the stairwell, fully intending to nap away her worries about Gale.

Well, that was the plan at least.

She should have gotten off at D-Deck. Instead, Madge stepped off the stairs at C-Deck.

* * *

 

She’d lost her mind.

Madge, without really thinking about it or planning it out,  was wandering towards the Third Class General Room and peeking through the halls, all in an attempt to find Gale. It was appalling really, her behavior positively scandalous, but Madge needed to talk to him, needed to know where they stood. He might think she was pathetic or desperate or… _salacious_ , but Madge just wanted to know, once and for all. She liked him, there was no point in denying it. And though she knew well brought up girls should be patient, she apparently wasn’t. And maybe he’d be happy to see her. Maybe. Hopefully.

She reached the general room and was surprised she’d actually remembered where it was. Apparently, she’d retained more of Delly’s tour speech than she’d thought. Madge squared her shoulders. This seemed like a good place to find him, after all, she’d already noticed when she’d been up on deck that he wasn’t standing on the Poop Deck. _I can do this._ She stepped through the doors and scanned the room, her nerves screaming at her to flee.

And then she saw him.

He was sitting on one of the benches, laughing and smiling, so, so handsome. He looked happy, leaning close to a girl about Madge’s age. Her stomach plummeted. Oh. _Oh_. She shouldn’t have come.

_I guess that’s my answer_.

“Madge?”

He’d turned while she’d been staring and noticed her, his face masked with confusion. He was already half standing and Madge felt a stupid urge to cry. She spun and rushed off as fast as she could, cursing herself for becoming so attached to a boy she hardly knew.

“Madge!”

Her heart seized at his call but she didn’t stop running, so utterly, totally mortified. She was such a fool.

“Madge, stop! Wait!”

She felt his fingers on her arm and froze, even as her legs yearned to keep going, to run as far as she possibly could.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her back and she wanted to sob.

“Nothing,” she snapped and went to leave again. He was faster though, somehow slipping in front of her. She stared at his chest, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

“That was my cousin, Katniss.”

Madge’s eyes went wide as she jerked her head up, could see the truth of that written all over his expression. She felt her face burn.

“I know,” she said, even though she obviously hadn’t. Gale nodded.

“Of course. So, why did you come?’ he asked and Madge could say something, but then, someone much wiser than her once said “actions speak louder than words”. With that in mind, she grabbed the front of Gale’s shirt and kissed him. It was the wildest, boldest, most insane thing she’d ever done, but she felt sparkling and alive, his mouth hot as it met hers. He responded instantly, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her flush against him, his mouth opening against hers and yes, she was fairly certain that wise person was right.

Actions definitely did speak louder than words.

* * *

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Madge said, pulling away from Gale.

Somehow, they’d found a bench, one slightly hidden from most people. They’d spent…well, she wasn’t really sure how long they’d been kissing. Time seemed to have stopped, nothing else even registering with Madge besides the feel of Gale, his lips on hers, his arms keeping her close. She still had her hands fisted in the material at his shoulders and she felt a little breathless.

“What?” Gale asked, leaning in towards her, his eyes still closed.

“I don’t even know your last name.”

It seemed a little ridiculous, but the thought had just occurred to her. How could she be here, kissing this boy, without even knowing his last name? Gale smiled, his forehead pressing against hers.

“It’s Hawthorne.”

Oh. Gale Hawthorne. It sounded nice.

“Undersee,” she replied and his eyes opened, perfectly, beautifully silver.

“Madge Undersee,” he repeated and her whole body seemed to erupt with flutters.

“How old are you?” she asked and a part of her was curious, while another part just wanted to shut up and kiss him again and again and again.

“18. You?”

“16,” she answered and hoped he didn’t think she was too young. He squeezed her waist.

“Same age as Katniss,” he commented and she smiled a little. She kissed him again, getting lost for a moment in the taste of him. He dragged her closer, their chests pressed together and Madge was hot all over. She pulled away again.

“Did you come with anyone else?” she asked, voice a little breathy. He nodded slowly.

“Yeah, Katniss’ mom is here and her sister Prim too. And my mum, my brothers, Rory and Vick and my sister Posy.”

Madge didn’t actually say anything, but maybe Gale could feel the question through her skin.

“My dad’s dead. Work accident.”

“Oh, Gale. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. Well, no, it’s not, but, it’s been five years.”

Madge bit her lip and wished she knew what to say. Gale forced a smile.

“And my best mate Thom, he’s here too.”

Madge recognized his attempt to change the subject.

“Did your whole street pack up and leave?” she joked and he grinned a little easier.

“Only the interesting ones.”

She snorted.

“And what about you, who’re you with?”

“My parents. And my friend Delly, and her family.”

He nodded and they were silent for a moment, every nerve in Madge’s body singing.

“My favourite colour’s blue,” he murmured, “a darkish blue.”

It was such a small, inconsequential detail and yet, Madge couldn’t help feeling like she’d just learned something precious.

“Mine’s lavender.”

“That’s purple, I know, but I’ve no idea what shade of purple,” he admitted and she laughed. She thought about kissing him again but there was something burning in her stomach, like hot coals in a fire.

“I’m afraid, of what’s going to happen to us in America. It took everything we had to get this far, if things don’t work out quickly, what are we going to do?”

“I know how you feel,” he nearly whispered, breath faint on her cheeks. “We sold everything to get these tickets, if I don’t find work fast…”

She kissed him then, her passion mixed with desperation. He matched her in both and for a moment, nothing seemed quite as frightening as it had before.

* * *

 

_Goodbye_ was kisses and promises for that night.

_Goodbye_ was _Hello_.

* * *

 

“And what did you girls do today?” her mother asked over dinner.

“Oh, I wasn’t feeling too well, so I took a nap,” Madge responded and her mother frowned.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, are you feeling any better?”

“Yes, much better,” she answered, smiling brightly. Delly grinned at her across the table and if Madge weren’t so blissful, she might think that smile was far too knowing. Instead she merely beamed at all of them, too happy to worry about anything at all.

For the first time since she’d heard the name _Titanic_ , Madge was simply _happy_.

* * *

 

Gale was waiting for her when she wandered out onto the promenade deck, painted silver and blue by the night sky. She took a moment to admire him, traced him with her eyes and he turned, smiling sweetly when he noticed her. Madge couldn’t help but smile back as they moved towards each other, the faint tinkling of music drifting out from somewhere in the ship. Gale cocked his head to listen for a moment and then grinned; set her heart ablaze with just one look.

“Dance with me?” he asked, holding out his hand. Madge felt her cheeks heat up but nodded, stomach bubbling happily. She took his hand and he drew her close, humming along to the music. She closed her eyes and hummed too, his arm around her waist and holding her near. Their bodies touched, the stars shone overhead and Madge could feel his heartbeat thudding in time with hers. They moved slowly, less dancing and more swaying, but she felt like she was floating, Gale warm in a way that touched her all the way to her bones. She tilted her head up and he tilted his down, their lips meeting.

Madge kissed him and knew this was crazy, entirely impossible, but standing in Gale’s arms in the moonlight, she honestly believed she might be falling in love.


	4. Diamonds in the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if I dreamed, I'd dream of you

_An Ocean Between Us_

Sunday, April 14 _  
Diamonds in the Sea_

Madge woke with a smile, the feel of Gale still lingering against her lips. She was young, the sun was bright and possibilities stretched out before her in every direction.

 _Today_ , she decided, _today will be a good day_.

* * *

 

As always, Delly led them on a morning walk after breakfast and Madge once again found herself leaning against the railing overlooking the Poop Deck. Her gaze found Gale as if by instinct and he was chatting with that friend of his, looking effortlessly gorgeous with his arms folded across his chest and that perfect smile on his lips. The breeze picked up and Madge tightened her sweater around herself, her chill momentarily forgotten when Gale turned his head and their eyes met. He winked and Madge’s stomach flipped over itself, a smile starting to stretch out over her face. She peeked over at Delly, who looked red faced and contemplative.

“Are you okay?” she asked and Delly bit her lip.

“I think…I think I’ll go lie down. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

Madge frowned but Delly cut her off before she could say anything.

“I’m okay, just sleepy. You don’t need to worry.”

“Are you sure? I could-”

“It’s fine. Really, I just want to nap. Sorry for abandoning you.”

Madge waved that away.

“As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, honest. My brother’s snoring was atrocious last night, that’s all,” Delly assured her with a smile.

“Okay, if you’re sure” Madge agreed, “sleep well.”

“I will,” Delly promised and Madge watched her go until she was swallowed up by the other passengers on deck. Madge turned back around, her eyes settling on Gale yet again. The friend he’d been talking to (Thom?) was gone and Madge squeezed the railing.

_Why not? It’s not like I have anything else to do until lunch._

She nodded to herself and pushed off the railing. She headed to the staircase and refused to listen to her doubts and every cautionary voice warning her of boys and what time with them might to do her. Being with Gale couldn’t be wrong, not when it felt so right. She exited the stairs on the Poop Deck and wondered if she was imagining the feel of everyone’s eyes on her. She moved through the crowd and tried to remember where Gale had been standing when she’d last seen him.

“Can I help you with something?”

Madge turned and there was Gale, grinning down at her with bright eyes. She smiled up at him.

“I think you could actually. I was looking for this boy, very handsome.”

“Oh? Don’t think I know any of those.”

“Pity,” she said and they just grinned at each other, Madge feeling warm straight down to her toes. Someone bumped into her from behind and she stumbled forward, Gale reaching out to steady her. He looked up over her head at the crowd all around them and frowned.

“Certainly packed up here,” he said and then suddenly smiled, holding out his arm. “Care to go for a jaunt somewhere a little less crowded?”

Madge took the offered arm.

“I would be delighted, good sir.”

Gale beamed.

“Well then, this way, my lady.”

Madge pressed her cheek against his shoulder as they started off and yes, today was definitely shaping up to be a very good day indeed.

* * *

 

“Have you done much traveling?” Gale asked as they rounded a bend in the ship and Madge shook her head.

“No, I’ve barely ever left Ballycotton.”

“Did you never want to?”

“No, it’s just that I never had the opportunity. Actually, I always wanted to go to Scotland.”

“Why?” Gale asked, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Madge smiled a little.

“My cousin Aoife lives there.”

“Really?”

Madge nodded.

“Mmhm, it’s really romantic actually.”

Gale bumped her hip with his.

“Oh, yeah?”

“About two years ago, she met this man, Ian. He was visiting from Glasgow and they just…they only knew each other for three weeks, but that’s all it took. My aunt and uncle were furious when she told them she wanted to marry him. I mean, she barely knew him and she was planning to go back to Scotland with him, not to mention he was a Presbyterian.”

“And she was Catholic?” Gale guessed.

“Of course. They told her if she married him, they’d never speak to her again, but she did it anyway. They eloped. Everyone said it was just lust, I remember Father Brown giving a sermon about it. I was fourteen, but I knew it wasn’t true. Aoife wouldn’t have left for just lust. I saw them together and they did love each other, I know it.”

Gale nodded and Madge smiled a little wistfully.

“ I’ve always missed her, and even though I can’t imagine leaving my parents, even for a man I loved, I don’t blame her for doing it. Our town was…it was always the same and everyone was always so involved in everything you did. They were beyond nosy. There was no opportunity, no change and her parents were always miserable, very cranky, somewhat opposed to fun. I get why she ran off with Ian, but still, I always wanted to go visit her. She did say I was always welcome.”

Madge sighed and Gale’s arm slid around her shoulders and squeezed her tight.

“Well, maybe you will. You’ll hit it big in America and sail back over to visit.”

Madge smiled and leaned into him.

“Maybe I will,” she agreed and there was a small, tiny part of her that thought _maybe we both will._

“And you, have you done much traveling?” she asked and Gale snorted.

“Hah, I’ve never been outside London. Honestly, I understand how your cousin must’ve felt. If I didn’t have my family to worry about, I definitely would’ve run off with an attractive Scot too.”

Madge’s arm went around his waist and she grinned.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Hmm?”

“Run off with an attractive Scot.”

“That so?”

Her other arm went around him too and she hugged him, the two of them stopping their walk.

“Definitely.”

Gale smirked and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I’m glad too,” he murmured and then he kissed her, Madge smiling against his mouth. They started walking again, the tang of salt on the wind tickling her nose.

“I wanted you to meet Thom today,” Gale started and Madge felt her chest flutter. _He wanted me to meet his best friend?_ “But then he off and disappeared somewhere. Tomorrow though, I’ll get him.”

“Maybe I’ll bring Delly,” she said and Gale nodded.

“It’ll be like a double date,” he teased and Madge giggled. She sighed into him happily and couldn’t help but think _is this how you felt, Aoife?_

_Maybe, one day, I’ll be telling you about my own love story._

* * *

 

When it came time for lunch, Madge pulled away from Gale with reluctance.

“I’ll see you tonight?” he asked and Madge could have nodded, could have met him at the same time she always did, but something bold bloomed in her chest.

“You should come to my room, at dinner.  My parents won’t be there and I’ll just tell them I have a headache.”

Gale blinked at her, eyes wide and Madge felt suddenly shy, her gaze dropping.

“Okay,” he said and Madge looked back up at him, his smile making her knees feel a little weak. “I’ll see you then.”

She nodded.

“Yeah,” she replied, slightly breathless, “see you then.”

He kissed her goodbye and as she walked away, she was already counting down the hours until they’d be back together again.

* * *

 

Delly was smiling and rosy cheeked at lunch, her nap having worked wonders. Madge squeezed her hand over the table and Delly beamed at her, threading her fingers through Madge’s.

“Any plans this afternoon?” she asked and Madge shook her head.

“I was hoping to spend it with you, if you’re feeling better that is.”

“I,” Delly proclaimed, “am feeling radiant.”

Madge grinned.

“Then I’m all yours.”

“Excellent.”

They smiled at each other and Madge thought the sun through the windows might be shining brighter than ever before.

* * *

 

They’d decided to visit the racquetball courts and arrived just in time to see the most pompous of all men prepare to play, his nose raised high in the air.

“I must say, I have been playing for a great many years. I do hope you don’t find that intimidating,” he said to his opponent and Madge had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Delly squeezed her arm and the game was over quickly, Mr Snob losing easily. His neck had turned very red and Madge pressed a hand to her mouth.

“Yes well, I was trying to be nice, it wouldn’t be very fair if I’d actually tried.”

Delly snorted loudly and the man turned to glare at them, his eyes flashing. Madge grabbed Delly’s hand and pulled, the two of them clambering up the nearest stairs and up onto deck.

“Did you see his face?” Delly laughed and Madge nodded, her own laughter bursting out as Delly tried to imitate him.

“Not that he was trying though,” Madge said and Delly nodded, forcing her face to be solemn.

“No, otherwise he would have handily trounced his opponent.”

“Oh, definitely,” Madge agreed, her own tone serious. They stared at each other a few moments and then started giggling again, sudden warmth pooling in Madge’s belly. She flung her arms around Delly, hugging her tightly.

“I’m glad you’re here. And that we’re doing this together.”

Delly hugged her back.

“Me too.”

Neither of them said anything else, they didn’t need to. They both knew as they started off down the deck again, joined hands swinging between them, that they were best friends, that they loved each other, that this journey wasn’t nearly as frightening because they were together.

As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.

* * *

 

Madge could feel her heart beating against her ribcage _thump thump thump_ as she waited for Gale. _What was I thinking? Inviting a boy back to my room? If anyone finds out…_ She breathed in deeply and folded her hands in her lap. _Its fine, it’ll be fine._ She surveyed the room for the fifth time, making absolutely sure that everything was perfect. Stewards had already cleaned and straightened everything, but Madge had felt the need to go over it all again and again in her nervous flurry. She narrowed her eyes. _Those pillows could probably be straightened a little-_

Madge jumped at the sound of a knock coming from her door. She stood and smoothed down her skirt, her heart doing somersaults in her chest. She walked over and hoped she looked calmer than she felt, breathing in deeply before she opened the door. _Relax. It’ll be fine._ Gale was standing in the doorway and he smiled at her, butterflies erupting in her limbs at the sight.

“Hey,” he greeted, leaning towards her and all her nerves seemed to melt away like ice in the sun.

“Hi.”

They stared at each other for a few moments and then a door shut somewhere down the hall, startling Madge back into reality. If anyone saw her and Gale… She grabbed his arm and tugged him inside, shutting the door quickly behind him. He laughed a bit in surprise.

“Goodness, Miss Undersee, who knew you were so aggressive?”

She rolled her eyes and he grinned, his hands reaching out and settling on her waist.

“I missed you. Isn’t that crazy? I just saw you this morning,” he said and she nodded, even as she let him pull her in close, her arms finding their way around his neck.

“I missed you too,” she admitted and he smiled, the sweet, soft one that made her whole body into a bowl of pudding. He kissed her, hot and hard, and she could feel herself burning, every part of her kindling into flame beneath his hands. They found their way to the sofa somehow and sat down, still intertwined and wrapped around each other. His fingers danced across her back, her waist and then found their way to her thighs and she should have been appalled, should have pushed him away but everything felt so good, every touch sending sparks fizzling through her blood. She tangled her fingers in his hair, he kissed her jaw and she felt almost like she had a fever, except she never wanted this one to break. _Lust is a sin_ she could hear Father Brown pronouncing gravely in her mind but then Gale kissed her neck and she decided that perhaps, just this once, she could be forgiven for going astray.

Gale’s hands slid over her thighs and then returned to her back, dipping lower and lower. She knew where they were heading, knew she was meant to stop him but she didn’t want to, wanted him to touch her absolutely everywhere.

“Madge,” he panted, pulling away just enough to speak, “is this okay?”

She nodded and tightened her grip on him, the word tumbling from her lips straight to his. “ _Yes_.”

Gale kissed her again, drowned her in the taste of him and then his hands slid underneath her and lifted her up, settling her back down on his lap. This was so wrong, so anti everything she had ever been taught but still, she wasn’t sure she wanted it to end. They were pressed together, chest to chest and she pressed her lips across his jaw, that jaw that had made her swoon the very first time she’d seen it. Gale’s hands squeezed her waist and then he pulled away, a rush of cold air filling the space between them. She blinked at him in confusion and he wouldn’t meet her eyes, sudden fear seizing her. Had she done something wrong?

“I don’t want to say goodbye in a few days,” he said hurriedly, the words pouring out of him and she felt her eyes stretch wide. “I like…talking to you and being with you and…this. I don’t want it all to be over when we get to New York.”

Madge couldn’t answer, her heart doing gymnastics.

“I know you probably think it’s stupid and we’ve only known each other a few days, but-”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” she interrupted and Gale stared at her.

“You don’t?”

She shook her head.

“No. I don’t want to say goodbye either.”

Gale grinned and kissed her, her body singing where it touched his.

“Then let’s not say goodbye,” he whispered against her mouth and she nodded.

“Okay.”

“When we get to America, we’ll stay in touch. We’ll figure something out.”

“This is crazy,” she laughed and Gale nodded, his forehead pressed to her.

“The best things usually are.”

She laughed again and this _was_ crazy, completely crazy but she didn’t care. When they started this journey, America had seemed so dark and frightening. Now, at least, she thought she could see some sunlight peeking through the clouds.

“You know, some people call _Titanic_ the ship of dreams,” she murmured and Gale nodded, tightening his hold on her. “If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.”

 “You’re my dream,” he whispered and Madge reached up to pull his lips down to hers.

_and you’re mine, Gale Hawthorne, the very best dream I’ve ever had_

* * *

 

Madge fell asleep that night with a smile on her face.

_Today was a good day, the best day._

* * *

 

(but here is something Madge should have remembered)

(even the best dreams have to end)


	5. A Kiss of Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this how it ends?

_An Ocean Between Us_

Monday, April 15, 1912  
_A Kiss of Ice_

“Madge, wake up. You have to wake up. Madge!”

Madge blinked awake in confusion. Her parents were leaning over her, faces worried with coats and life jackets on over their nightclothes.

“What…what’s going on?” she asked, head still foggy with sleep. Her mother bit her lip.

“The Stewards came by; they say we’ve hit something.”

“But don’t worry,” her father hurriedly interjected as Madge’s mouth fell open; “they say there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Yes,” her mother agreed, “they want us up on the boat deck, but only as a precaution. Everything’ll be fine.”

Madge wasn’t sure she believed them, blood chilling as she imagined the ship plunging into the inky black of the ocean.

_God help us_

* * *

 

“Please remain calm; there is nothing to be concerned about. Everything is well under control; this is all merely a precaution.”

The Steward’s voice droned out over the crowd in the hallway and Madge forced herself to believe him. _We’re going to be fine; this ship is unsinkable, right?_

“Now, if you could all please make your way up to the boat deck in an orderly fashion. Yes madam, I know it’s cold. Indeed sir, it is quite late, but this is standard procedure. The quicker this is done, the quicker it’ll all be over. Thank you.”

The grumbling crowd began to move but Madge looked around anxiously. _Where are the Cartwrights?_ People continued to push around her, eager to get this done but Madge was rooted to the spot, unable to move without knowing where Delly was.

“Sweetheart?” her father asked and then,

“Have you seen Delly? We can’t find her anywhere.”

Madge turned to her left to see the Cartwrights, their eyes wild and worried.

“She wasn’t in your quarters?” her mother asked in shock and Mrs Cartwright shook her head.

“No. I don’t know where she could be.”

_What on Earth? Where could you be, Delly? Where would you go so late at night?_

_Oh._

“I know where she is,” Madge said and everyone turned to look at her.

“What? Where?” Mr Cartwright asked but Madge shook her head, already starting to move.

“I’ll get her, it’s alright.”

“No, wait. Madge!” her father called but Madge kept going.

“Don’t worry; I’ll bring her up to the boat deck. You go on, we’ll be there soon.”

“Madge!” her parents shouted but she was already squeezing through the crowd, eyes focused on the staircase.

_I should have seen it before; I can’t believe I missed it. Your brother never snores; he can’t have kept you up all night. And you hate taking naps, you’d never have gone for one in the middle of the day, and certainly not when there was the whole Titanic to explore._

_You were in such a good mood and you advocated so strongly for me to be with Gale,_ “ _We’ve left behind our old life and the new one doesn’t start until we reach New York. The days we have here, this is when we should be doing things we never would normally-”_

_There’s a boy, isn’t there? Oh Delly, how did I miss it?_

She reached the stairs and began pushing past everyone, fighting her way down while everyone else was fighting their way up. _I’m coming Delly, I’m coming._ She struggled through the crowded hallways, searching desperately for any sign of her. _You have to be here, you have to!_

“ _Madge_?”

She turned at the sound of her name and felt her heart lurch. It was Gale, a little girl that had to be his sister clutched tight in his arms. He started fighting through the crowd towards her, his eyes wide and panicked and Madge moved towards him too. She could see people following in his wake, clearly all those family members he’d told her about.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded as they met, both of them reaching for the other.

“I have to find Delly; I think she’s down here with a boy.”

Gale opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, eyes going even wider.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he swore and she blinked in surprise.

“What’s going on?” a woman who could’ve been his mother or his aunt asked, his family finally catching up to him.

“Gale?” Madge asked, squeezing his waist and he swore again.

“Shit. She’s second class, right? A little shorter than you, blonde, blue eyes?”

Madge nodded and he tilted his head back, inhaling angrily.

“ _Damn it_ , Thom. Okay, go all the way to the end of this corridor, then down to the next floor and take a left. Go as far as you can, there’s an empty room right at the end of the hall. That’s where Thom’s been taking this girl he-”

“ _Delly_ ,” Madge breathed and _what were the odds?_ _Then again, she did say he was cute when she saw him and Gale…_

“Okay, thank you!” she told him and spun around. _I’m coming Delly, I’m coming!_

 “Madge, wait!” Gale said, his voice constricted as he grabbed her arm. She turned back to face him, her chest squeezed tight.

“It’s okay, just go. I’ll be alright,” she assured him with a smile and then, without really thinking about it, she lurched forward and kissed him. It was quick, hard and she felt the bizarre urge to cry. His eyes were closed when she pulled away and she tried to smile as she gently removed his hand from her arm. She squeezed his fingers and backed away, determined to keep him in her sights for as long as possible.

_I’ll be alright._

_We all will._

_We have to be._

* * *

 

(Gale knew he couldn’t go after her, knew he had to make sure his family got to safety.

_But I’ll be back for you,_ he promised as she ran away _, I swear to God I’ll be back_ )

* * *

 

Madge could feel herself speeding up as she moved further into the ship, the floor starting to slant beneath her feet.

_We really are sinking._

Tears started to build in her eyes, fear tugging at her legs but she had to keep moving. Delly was back here somewhere and Madge had to find her, had to make sure she made it out safe. _I’m coming Delly, hold on._ The ground tilted even further, Madge started to lose balance and _Oh God, this is all my fault. If only I’d told Delly about Gale, she’d have told me about Thom._ _I wouldn’t have had to waste time searching; I’d have known exactly where to find her. Why didn’t I tell her?_

And that’s when she hit the water.

Madge had been running without really looking, so caught up in her guilt that it took her entirely by surprise when her feet splashed into something wet. She looked down and there was water everywhere, getting deeper and deeper the farther she looked down the hall. _Oh my God._ She stared, unable to look away and felt like her heart was shriveling up in her chest, tightening up into a tiny, terrified ball.

_Come on, it’s just water. I can do this._

Madge steeled herself and took a careful step forward, the water sloshing over her shoe. The water was like ice, like a thousand jagged knives cutting into her skin. She yelped in surprise and drew back, nearly stumbling over in her haste. Her foot ached, throbbed and Madge breathed heavily, the water inching insidiously closer. She wanted to run, wanted to get out of this death trap and away to safety but she couldn’t.

_Delly needs me._

Madge clenched her hands, gritted her teeth and moved in again, tears burning under her eyelids. It was so cold, unbelievably cold, beyond even comprehension. She moved as fast as she could, deeper and deeper, and she could barely think as the water creeped up her calves but she pushed on, her mind focused on one single thing.

_I have to find Delly._

_I have to._

“Madge! Madge!”

She’d just turned a corner and there was Delly, the water swirling around her knees.

“Delly!” Madge shouted back and she struggled forward, the two of them meeting in a hug. Madge closed her eyes for a moment in relief, couldn’t even feel the cold. _I found you, oh thank God, I found you._

“We need to go.”

Madge opened her eyes and looked up. A boy that had to be Thom was standing just behind Delly, face tense. Madge vaguely recognized him, could just remember seeing him standing and talking with Gale. She let go of Delly and wiped her eyes.

“You’re right, let’s go.”

She grabbed Delly’s hand and meant to go back the way she’d come, but Thom shook his head.

“The main stairs are going to be packed with people. We’re better off going up another way.”

Delly nodded.

“I usually use one of the smaller staircases to come down here, that might work.”

“Okay,” Madge agreed and Delly squeezed her hand before taking hold of Thom and leading them both down the corridor. Madge’s legs throbbed with the cold, her heart beat painfully in her chest and _please, let us make it out of this_.

* * *

 

( _They’re safe, my family’s safe._

_Now I just have to find the others_ )

(and it’s a blessing, really, that he still has Madge and Thom, and even Delly, to worry about. Otherwise, he’d have to start worrying about himself)

( _women and children only_ )

* * *

 

“Where the fuck is this staircase?” Thom asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

“It’s…it’s…there!” Delly shouted in relief and there it was. Madge almost swooned. _Thank God_. The water was creeping up her thighs and she was so cold, her brain feeling slow and sluggish. Thom seemed reinvigorated by the sight and charged forward, tugging Delly after him. Delly pulled Madge along too and they were so close, so close. _Almost there._

_BAM_

Delly shrieked in surprise as a door to their right burst open, a great torrent of water gushing out towards them.

“Shit!” Thom swore and surged forward, grasping onto the railing with one hand. Madge seized onto Delly with both of hers and then the water slammed into them, crashing over their heads. She could feel her grip on Delly slipping and she couldn’t breathe, her lungs frozen and filling rapidly with water. She struggled furiously, the water trying to throw her around and finally her head broke the surface. Madge coughed and spluttered and desperately tried to breathe. The flood was moving down the hallway, still tugging furiously even as it lowered around them.

“Hold on,” Thom begged Delly and Madge could see the strain on his face as he tried to drag them both over to the stairs. The current continued to heave around them and then there was another horrible, splintering crash as a further door erupted outwards, a new deluge headed towards them. 

“ _Look out_!” Delly shrieked, just as Thom shouted “ _Hold on_!” and Madge couldn’t even think, her whole body paralyzed with fear. _Oh God, oh God oh God oh God-_

The water hit her like a solid wall and then it ripped her hands away from Delly, tossing her violently down the hall. She spun and turned and tried with all her might to fight back, to kick and paddle up or forward, but she couldn’t tell which direction was up or forward, her head spinning and stinging with the cold.

“ _Madge_!” Delly screamed and Thom clenched his teeth, fighting the tide to keep his hold on her. Madge herself just managed to find the surface and desperately sucked down air when the force of the water slammed her body into a wall. The pain was intense but worse was the shock, knocking all the breath from her lungs. She gasped and the water poured down her throat, her lungs feeling like they were filled up with needles. Thom grunted loudly in effort and yanked with all his strength, finally managing to pull Delly all the way to the stairs.

“Get up, get up!” he shouted, shoving her upwards and out of the water.

“Madge! _Madge_!” she yelled and Madge felt herself slipping under, too dazed to keep herself afloat. The world started to go dark and her chest ached, the water slopping up over her head.

_Is this how it ends?_

* * *

 

“Madge! Oh God, _Madge_!” Delly was screaming and Thom turned away from her and felt his stomach drop.

Madge was gone.

There was no sign of her and Delly was heading back down the stairs, clearly determined to jump in after her. _Shit, shit, shit!_ Thom couldn’t let her do it, couldn’t bear it and he closed his eyes, stomped down the desperate, terrified part of him that just wanted to grab Delly and run, and took a deep breath. He let go of the rail, his mouth pooling with acid, and allowed the current to shove him towards where Madge had been, Delly shouting fearfully after him.

“Thom!”

The current was slowing somewhat but it was trapped against a pair of doors further down the hall, ready to break them down and suck everything and everyone nearby into the flooded bowels of the ship.

_If those burst…_

Thom kicked with his legs and swam as hard as he could, needed to find Madge as quickly as possible.

“Can you see her?” Delly called and Thom looked about wildly, his anxiety growing with every groan of those wooden doors.

_Of all the nights not to be in my room. Of all the nights to be too far from everyone, so the only way we know we’re sinking is when water creeps under the door and the floor starts to tilt._

_God, if only I hadn’t asked Delly to come tonight. If they die, it’ll be my fault. They could both be safe already, probably already on lifeboats._

_Damn it, damn it!_

He sucked in a breath and dived under. Adrenaline surged through his body, mixed with a potent fear and a hint of despair. _Where are you? You have to be here somewhere._ It was dark, his eyes stung from the cold and the salt and _Fuck! Where are you?_

His fingers grazed something made of fabric and he felt it like an electric jolt straight to his heart.   _Yes!_ he wanted to shout but he had to go back up for air before he could grab hold. _Shit!_ He breathed deeply, the water rising and went back under, determined to come back up with Madge. _Please God, please._ He found her again with his hands and kicked himself closer, the water cutting into him like a million burning knives. _Come on, come on…I’ve got you!_ Thom grabbed her around the waist and drove upwards, kicking as hard as he could. He surfaced and greedily drank in air, all the while pulling Madge up with him. He got her head above the water but she lolled against his shoulder, skin maybe slightly blue.

“Madge! Is she okay?” Delly asked and Thom felt panicky and frozen.

“I don’t think she’s breathing!” he shouted back, entirely unsure what to do _. I have to get her to the stairs_ , he thought but the current was pulling him in the opposite direction. Worse, with Madge’s dead weight to support, he was tiring quickly. _We’re not gunna make it. Oh God, we’re not gunna make it._

He looked up at the stairs but Delly was gone and strangely, Thom didn’t feel any panic or fear at that. _At least Delly’ll make it out, at least she’ll be safe._ The doors behind him creaked and groaned ominously and _Oh God, this really is it, isn’t it?_

“Thom! Here!”

He blinked and Delly was charging back down the stairs, a fire hose in her arms. She stopped just before the water level and swung the heavy end around with one hand before releasing it. It launched forward and landed with a splash just ahead of him. Thom stared at it as it sunk, a frigid sort of exhaustion seeping into his bones.

“Come on, Thom! Grab it!” Delly yelled, shaking the hose at him and he looked at her, dripping wet, terrified, but furious too.

“Come on!” she shouted and he shook his head, dug deep for his remaining strength and kicked with all his might. _Come on, come on!_ He reached forward, numb fingertips glancing off the slippery metal of the spout and gritted his teeth. _Come on!_ He stretched his arm as far as it would go and just managed to grasp the hose right above the spout. Delly tightened her grip and began to pull, face screwed up as she reeled them in.

And that’s when the doors gave out.


	6. As All the Stars Go Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This can't be the end

_An Ocean Between Us_

_As All the Stars Go Out_

Delly screamed in shock and was nearly thrown from the stairs, the hose going taut as the rushing water tried to suck Thom and Madge away. _Fuck, fuck! I can’t hold on!_ he thought, his arm howling in pain, nearly wrenched out of its socket by the force of the water.

“Don’t let go, don’t you dare let go, Thom!” Delly shouted and he watched in shock as she sat down on the stairs, bracing her legs on the railing and _pulled_.

“Come on Thom, _kick_!” she yelled, voice strained and Thom closed his eyes. _Come on, you can do this, you can do this!_ He could barely feel his legs but he kicked anyway, keeping his eyes focused on Delly. He was so tired and he wasn’t sure he was actually moving at all, but he looked at her, the effort written in the scrunches of her nose, the clenched teeth and he couldn’t give up now. _We’re going to make it._

The water around him continued to rush down the hall and his slow, foggy brain began to form coherent thoughts, one particular one lighting up his mind. _If all the water goes down the hall, it’ll lower here, at least for a little while. I just have to hold on a bit longer._ The arm holding Madge was steadily growing number, so much so he had to keep looking back to make sure he was still holding her and his other hand had slipped on the hose, the rim of the spout digging into his skin. He was almost glad, the pain penetrating the mist that seemed to be slipping through his senses.

“I’ve almost got you!” Delly was saying and Thom wasn’t sure he believed her, but the water was going down, his feet actually able to touch the ground. It wouldn’t last long, soon the hall would fill up and all the water would come spilling back towards him, but it would have to last long enough. He squeezed the hose as tight as he could and began to walk, each step shooting agony up his legs. Delly continued to reel them in, her arms shaking and together they made progress, slow though it was. _We’re going to make it. I won’t die here, I won’t._ The water was inching upwards again, slowly but surely, the ocean crawling up his body. _Almost there, almost there._

“Got you!” Delly exclaimed, letting go of the hose and grabbing his arm. He sagged into her and she heaved him up the stairs, his feet slipping and sliding on the sodden carpet. He collapsed when they reached the next floor, Madge prone beside him. Delly bent over her immediately, face white with fear but set with determination. 

“We have to get the water out of her lungs,” she said and Thom wanted to answer but his tongue felt frozen inside his mouth, his teeth chattering. He closed his eyes and _God,_ he was so cold. All he wanted to do was sleep, just rest a little while…

Shaking hands grabbed his face and then chilly lips met his in an urgent kiss, a surge of heat rushing through his blood. Thom felt his eyes go wide and even through the cold, he could feel himself starting to thaw.

“Stay with me, Thom, stay with me,” Delly begged, her fingers squeezing his cheeks and he nodded.

“Sorry,” he whispered and she shook her head before turning back to Madge.

“You’re going to be okay Madge, I swear,” she said, voice shaking and he nodded.

_Please be okay_

* * *

 

Gale looked frantically at every face, desperate to see Madge and Thom. _Where are you?_ The deck was crowded with terrified passengers, the air thick with their screams and tears. Lifeboats continued to lower down to the ocean and Gale felt a tight ball of fear growing in his stomach.

_We’re running out of time._

* * *

 

Madge came back to the world with a searing pain in her throat, a thudding ache in her chest and a sickly sort of fear filling up her mind. She turned on her side and coughed and retched and felt as if all of her organs were trying to force their way out of her. There was a hand on her back, a voice saying soothing words she couldn’t recognize and finally, one thought settled in her head. _I’m not dead_. Madge rolled onto her back and panted, her whole body quaking.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Delly’s voice came to her and hands rubbed her arms. Madge forced open her eyes and for a moment she was blind, her eyes stinging, before everything slid into focus. Delly was leaning over her, sopping wet and tearful in relief. It was her hands trying to warm Madge up and Thom was slumped against a wall behind her, his breathing shallow. Delly helped her sit up and Madge felt heavy and waterlogged, her body still wracked with wet coughs.

“We’re okay, we’re okay,” Delly kept saying and _are we?_ All three of them were soaked and freezing and from the corner of her eye, Madge could see the water climbing up the staircase beside them. _We need to get out of here_. Inhaling deeply, Madge struggled up, even though it felt like there were weights tied to each of her limbs. It took all her effort to get her body to cooperate and she used the wall to claw her way up, an angry, hot pain flooding through her. There was a room just to the right of her, its door left ajar and Madge staggered over, leaning heavily against the wood paneling of the hall. Panting heavily, she stepped inside.

“Madge?” Delly called and Madge returned, her arms burdened with blankets stripped from every bed.

“Here,” she said, dropping one by Delly. She tossed the other one at Thom and then wrapped herself up tight, cold water still dripping to the floor beneath her feet. She fell back against a wall to catch her breath, her lungs still aching, while Delly wrapped herself up and stood. Thom followed suit on unsteady legs, swaying for a moment before he draped his own blanket around himself, his expression clearing. Delly moved to his side and they huddled together for added warmth, Madge pushing off the wall and squeezing in beside them. The three of them started moving up the slanted hallway, the floor tilting worse and worse.

_We’ll make it. We will_.

They stumbled their way to another staircase and began to climb, up, up, up.

_Eventually we’ll reach the boat deck,_ she assured herself but still, there was a tiny voice in her head she couldn’t quite quiet.

_What then?_ it whispered and Madge didn’t answer.

(she couldn’t)

* * *

 

Gale pushed through the crowd, his heart trying to burst its way outside of his chest. The deck was slowly dipping below the water, the other end starting to rise ominously, the numbers of available were lifeboats dwindling and still, he hadn’t found Madge and Thom.

_I’ll see you soon, I love you,_ he’d promised his siblings and he could see their faces in his mind as they were lowered down to safety, Rory with his teeth clenched and fighting tears, Vick sobbing into his hands, Posy bawling and reaching for him. His heart squeezed painfully as it had then and he remembered Katniss staring at him, a silent promise in her eyes. _I’ll look after them._ His mother had touched his cheek and he had smiled, filled his voice with false bravado as he’d tried to reassure them. _I’ll be fine_ , he’d said, _I’ll find some other way off._

Now, standing here on a sinking ship as people wailed around him, he was beginning to think maybe he wouldn’t.

Gale closed his eyes, could feel fear starting to ravage his every cell and fought down the urge to sob, puke, collapse.

_God, God, I’m going t-_

“Gale!”

* * *

 

Madge’s chest felt tight, breathing was getting harder and harder but still she pushed on, refused to give into the panic trying to swallow her up. _Almost there, we have to be almost there_. She was fighting gravity as she climbed up the stairs, the ship titled so far back her hands clutching the railing were the only thing keeping her from falling. Delly and Thom were just ahead of her, their pace slowing and she couldn’t tell if it was because of exhaustion or fear. _Don’t give up now,_ she pleaded to their backs and her fingers were starting to numb from squeezing the rail so tight. _We’re so close, we’re so close._

And then, she heard it.

Voices, cranks, fireworks.

_The boat deck._

Madge felt adrenaline surge through her and _we’re almost there!_ All three of them began to run, a drunken sort of relief sweeping over them and making them giddy.

“Holy shit!” Thom shouted, both jubilant and disbelieving as he burst out of the stairwell onto the deck. He turned back to Delly right behind him and watched as her foot landed on the trailing hem of her blanket. Both their eyes widened simultaneously and she slipped, Thom watching her fall back as if in slow motion. He lurched forward but would never catch her in time and she screamed, the sound drowned out by the chaos all around them.

Madge did not hear Thom’s _holy shit_ , barely heard Delly’s terrified shriek but she did see Delly falling backwards toward her, a hot flash washing over her.

_Oh no._

She had one second to brace herself, her hands tightening on the railing and then Delly collided with her, her head snapping back into Madge’s chin. Madge bit her tongue and tasted blood, her body yelped in sudden pain and her arms shook, barely maintaining their grip after the impact.

“Fuck! Delly, are you okay?” Thom said in fear, clambering back down and Delly couldn’t find her footing, feet tangled up in her blanket. Madge could feel her arms screaming as she held on, gravity and Delly’s weight trying to force her down the stairs. _Hold on. HOLD ON. This isn’t what beats us. No way._

“I’ve got you,” Thom said, one hand holding the railing and the other helping Delly up. “Come on,” he coaxed and Delly swayed, eyes a bit unfocused. He pulled her up the stairs, hoping that collision had only dazed her temporarily and Madge felt only a minute relief as Delly’s weight left her, her arms so strained she could barely keep them from letting go. _Only a few more steps, I can do this._

Madge closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then let go.

She sprinted up the stairs and knew her arms never would have held out if she tried to go slow. Her momentum took her part way up and then she began to feel herself pulled backwards, balance starting to be lost. _No, no! I’m so close!_ Madge threw herself up the last few steps and crashed out onto the deck, her heart racing. She landed on knees, arms uselessly folding up beneath her and spat out blood, her body vibrating all over. _We made it, we made it._ Thom helped her up, one of his arms around a still unsteady Delly and that’s when Madge saw him.

_Gale_

Madge felt as if the world had stopped and all she saw was Gale, every other face blurring. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open and her heart beat even faster somehow, all her exhaustion disappearing and replaced with a desperate need to be with him.

“Gale!” she shrieked, moving without thinking. She began to shove through the crowd, eyes fixed on him and he was so close, so, so close.

“Gale!” she shouted again and he turned, the despair on his face changing into relief.

“Madge!” he yelled and then he was coming towards her, the both of them fighting to be back together.

“Gale, Gale, Gale,” she said and then they met, fire erupting under her skin and burning away every fear. Her arms pulled him as near she could, bodies pressed tightly together and she never wanted to let go, never ever ever. _You’re okay, we’re okay._ Her fingers clutched at his jacket, her face pressed into his shoulder and his hands were cold and shaking on her back, warm tears dripping from his cheeks to her skin.

“I found you,” he choked into her neck and she nodded, half laughing, half sobbing. He kept repeating himself, over and over, and for this one perfect moment, nothing seemed as terrible as it had before. She breathed him in, let his presence heat her shivering bones and then kissed him urgently, desperately, tasting the salt of both their tears.

“Gale!” Thom’s voice interrupted and she pulled back, Gale’s arms still keeping her near.

“Thom?”

Madge looked behind her and Thom was hurrying over, a smile just starting to touch his mouth. He dragged Delly after him and Gale reached out with one hand for his friend, the other still snug around Madge’s waist. They all met in a messy sort of hug, the four of them taking a second to relish in this fragile reunion.

_If we’re going to die, at least we’ll do it together._

“We need to find a lifeboat,” Gale said and a little of that despair she’d seen on his face started to creep back into his voice. Madge looked around and she couldn’t see a single one, the side of the boat entirely devoid of any means of escape. She felt her stomach drop, her breathing quickening.

“There’s got to be one somewhere,” Thom said, voice thick with determination (and maybe a little hysteria). Gale nodded and took Madge’s hand, ready to set out in search. _We’ll find one, we have to._

“Are you trying to find a lifeboat?”

Madge barely heard it over all the noise, but she turned and there was a boy just behind her, perhaps her age with blond hair and very blue eyes. She nodded.

“Yes, yes, do you know where we can find one?”

“On the other side of the ship. We just put my mother on one, if you hurry I’m sure there’ll be some left.”

“Thank you. _Thank you_ ,” she said, reaching forward to squeeze his arm. He smiled sadly.

“Hurry,” her whispered and Madge turned back to Gale, tugging on his hand to get his attention.

“There are boats on the other side, but we need to hurry,” she told him and he nodded.

“Right. Thom! This way!” he called and spun on his heel, pulling her swiftly through the crowd. Thom came running after them and Madge reached for his hand, catching his sweaty fingers with hers. She cast a last look at that blond boy and he watched them leave, a resigned sort of melancholy colouring his face. _We just put my mother on one_ he’d said, but then, why hadn’t he gotten on too?

“Look, over there!” Gale said and Madge followed his eyes and forgot all about that boy. _A lifeboat, oh God, we’re going to make it._ Madge nearly tripped over her own feet as they ran, safety almost in reach. _It’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay._ They were almost there, pushing through a clump of men she was too excited to think about and that’s when she heard it, the words that drowned out everything else.

“Women and children only!”


	7. Unsinkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if only we had more time

 

_An Ocean Between Us_

_Unsinkable_

“Women and children only!”

Madge heard those words like a death knell. Her body froze up and she couldn’t move, not even as Gale tried to tug her away.

“Madge, what are you doing? We need to keep moving!” he shouted over the din and she just stared at him. There was a grim look on his face and _he knew_. He’d known before they’d gotten here and so had that nice boy who told them to come this way and so did all these men gathered here, they all knew they were being left behind to die. Madge shook her head.

“No,” she whispered, disbelieving and sick. “No. No no no.”

Gale grabbed her shoulders and squeezed.

“Madge, you need to get on the lifeboat.”

“No,” she said again and this couldn’t be real, it just couldn’t. How could she leave without him?

“Yes,” he said firmly and she could see the fear written all over his face. He was terrified, for her, for him and Madge felt as if there was an iceberg where her heart should be, cracking down the middle and filling her up with cold, cold water.

“How can I leave you?” she asked, a sob breaking her voice and he moved his hands to her hair, bringing their foreheads together. She curled her fingers around his arms and she couldn’t stop her tears, a hopeless despair thickening in her veins. _If you stay you’ll die. Oh Gale, oh God…_

“I’ll figure something out, but you have to get on the boat. You have to.”

He was probably trying to sound strong but his tone was pleading, begging and she closed her eyes, unable to face what was happening. If she stayed…if she stayed she’d die. She’d drown or freeze and she wanted to puke at the thought. She wasn’t ready to die, the mere thought was enough to nearly send her to her knees but if she left…if she left she’d be abandoning him here to die. How could she do that?

“What’s…what’s going on?” Delly asked, voice still a bit dazed. Madge opened her eyes and looked over Gale’s shoulder at her and Thom and suddenly everything became perfectly clear. Delly’s face was confused, her eyes a bit unfocused from that bump on the head and Thom was so pale he could’ve been a ghost. Delly couldn’t stay behind, not in the state she was in, she’d never make it. And Thom and Gale, they were going to have to try to find some way to survive but it wouldn’t be easy. If she stayed, she’d only make it harder; after all, saving three people would be more difficult than two. But if she went with Delly, she could look after her, make sure she was alright. And there were her parents to worry about. She promised them she’d get herself and Delly off safe, God they must be so worried. It was obvious what she should do, the most logical choice was clear. She should get on the lifeboat, look after Delly and pray Gale and Thom (and her _father,_ God her father was probably stuck here too) found a way to safety.

It was the only choice, really.

* * *

 

Gale could see the moment when everything became clear to Madge, when realization settled on her shoulders. _Good, good,_ he thought, _she’s going to leave. Thank God._ Madge squeezed his arms and he felt it like a brand on his skin, a touch he never, ever wanted to forget.

“I’ll go,” she whispered, voice trembling and he felt such a rush of relief he almost fell over. “But only if you promise me one thing,” she continued and he felt his heart stop.

“Anything,” he found himself saying, because it didn’t matter, as long as she was away and safe, as long as she left before he fell apart entirely, as long as she got away before they all sunk down deep to the Atlantic floor.

“Promise me you won’t ever give up. That no matter what, you’ll do whatever it takes to make it off this thing.”

Even laced through with tears, there was steel in her voice and his stomach clenched.

“Promise me,” she repeated and he nodded.

“I promise,” he swore and he knew he was lying because _I’m going to die here, Ma, Posy, Vick, Rory, Katniss, Prim, I’m sorry. I love you. Oh God, I’m going to die._

“I’m so glad I met you,” she whispered, soft, sweet and he felt a tragic fluttering beneath his ribs. She touched his face and her fingers were strangely warm on his cheek, her eyes bluer than any he'd ever seen.

“Me too,” he mumbled and he was surprised his voice sounded so steady, a scream building up inside of him, of fear, anger, frustration, one so loud he thought it might split him apart. Madge leaned up and kissed him and _I’ve only known you a few days, but dammit, I wish we had more time. Why can’t we have more time?_

She pulled away and wiped her eyes, her smile shaking. He tried to smile back but couldn’t quite and they both turned back to Delly and Thom.

“You’re gunna go with Madge and I’ll...I’ll see you later,” Thom managed and Delly furrowed her brow.

“Come, you have to come too,” she said and he shook his head.

“It’s okay, it’s alright. Don’t worry, okay?”

Delly shook her head but accepted Thom’s parting kiss, tears starting to gather at the corners of his eyes.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised again and Madge gently took Delly by the arm.

“Come on, Delly, let’s go.”

“But..but…”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Madge soothed and steered her over to the lifeboat. An officer helped them aboard and Gale found Madge’s eyes with his.  _Good luck_ she mouthed, eyes bright with tears and he finally managed a grin. Thom moved to his side and together they watched the lifeboat lower, all the way down and still they didn’t look away, watched as it rowed and rowed and rowed, leaving them far behind.

_Promise me_

He thought of Madge, of his family and he couldn’t give up yet. He wanted more time, _needed_ it, with all of them. _This isn’t the end, it can’t be._ He turned to Thom, relieved at least to have his oldest friend by his side. They didn’t need to say anything, had no need for words and they started off together, sharing whatever courage they had.

_There’s no point in looking for a lifeboat, we have to find a way to stay on the ship as long as possible._

_Posy, Ma, Rory, Vick, Katniss, Prim, Madge, I’ll see you again. I promise._

_I promise._

* * *

 

It was like living in a nightmare.

Madge held Delly tight as she watched the back end of the _Titanic_ rise into the air, higher and higher, almost as if it meant to touch the stars.

_This can’t be happening._

(but it was, God help them all, it was)

* * *

 

Adrenaline, it seemed, did funny things.

_Titanic_ was tilting, tilting, tilting, tipping everything and everyone into the frigid water below and yet Gale couldn’t feel anymore fear, not even a drop. He held onto the railing with both hands and hauled himself towards the back of the ship, Thom following right behind him. All Gale could think, could feel was _SURVIVE_ , beating against his skull and screaming in his chest. There was no room for anything else.

His arms didn’t throb even though they should, his hands didn’t feel numb even as they clung to the icy railing and Gale pulled and pulled, gravity be damned. _Almost, almost, we can do this._ People around him wailed and screamed, hung onto everything they could and Gale could see the back of the ship and the endlessness of the sky behind it, almost like the ship was sailing through the stars. He grunted and moved faster; dragging himself towards the closest thing to salvation he’d be able to find in this frozen Hell.

The back end would go under last, if he could get there, if he and Thom could both, they’d stand a much better chance. The longer they stayed out of the water, the better. He reached the hand rail at the very, very back of the ship and grabbed a hold of it, a hot relief boiling in his bones. _We made it._ He climbed over to the other side, knowing his arms wouldn’t hold out if he had to hang from it and Thom did the same, the two of them shoulder to shoulder and ready to face the end.

_We can do this, we can do this._

_We can._

_(we have to)_

* * *

 

It sounded like the end of the world.

There was a noise, a noise she could never hope to put into words, a tearing, renting, screeching sound as _Titanic_ split apart, as the front disappeared into the black velvet of the ocean and the back crashed down into normal position, the slap against the water like the loudest thunder.

“God have mercy,” someone whispered and Madge nodded. _This can’t be real. It can’t be._

But it wasn’t over.

The back end suddenly began to rise again, faster this time until it was standing straight up, skimming the stars themselves. Everyone in her boat gasped but Madge couldn’t, her whole body frozen over with horror. _Father, Gale, Thom, oh God oh God_

And then the last remaining half of the _Titanic_ began to sink.

Down, down, _down_.

* * *

 

Gale wrapped his arms around the railing and _this is it, this is it_.

The ship was entirely vertical, ass in the air and Gale felt lightheaded, the rest of the world so very, very far away. They were going down, faster fasterfaster _faster_ and he tried to breathe, tried to keep the fear roaring in his ears at bay but he couldn’t, could barely even think over the terror screaming inside him.

“Holy shit, _holy shit_ …” Thom was whispering and Gale wanted to agree but his tongue didn’t seem to work, his throat swollen closed. People were screaming, begging and still they fell, cold fingers slipping off railings and struts and anything else they could hold, their bodies crashing down to the inky black below. _Sweet Jesus._

Gale heard a grunt beside him and looked to his left. There was a boy, a blonde boy with a sweaty face, clinging to the rail, his grip clearly slipping. Gale thought he maybe looked familiar and there was something odd inside him, something hot and burning, and without really thinking, he reached over and grabbed a fistful of the boy’s jacket. He made a sound of panic, maybe thought Gale would push him to his death but Gale hauled him over the railing instead, dragging him up to safety. The boy gaped at him with big, wide eyes.

“Thank you,” he breathed but Gale didn’t answer, teeth gritted to keep himself from sobbing. _Be brave, be strong, you promised everyone you’d make it out of this._

The water loomed closer, Gale’s heart pounding so fast he thought it might burst his chest and he grabbed Thom’s hand and squeezed as tight as he could.

_I will make it._

He couldn’t hear anyone else, not their wailing or weeping, could only hear the thunder of his own blood.  Closer, closer, every second closer.

_I will._

And then, finally, _Titanic_ went under.

* * *

 

Madge stared and it was gone, the greatest ship the world had ever seen, it was gone.

Just… _gone._


	8. Carve Your Name Across My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this can't be the end

_An Ocean Between Us  
Epilogue One_

Thursday, April 18, 1912 _  
Carve Your Name Across My Heart_

The rain stung Madge’s eyes as the _Carpathia_ arrived in New York, _Titanic’s_ meager survivors finally reaching their destination. Madge squeezed the handrail and there was no excitement in her now, no swell of hope or happiness. There was a just an exhaustion she couldn’t shake, one seeped in misery and heartbreak. The ice from that night seemed to live inside her and everything still felt a little like a dream.

(a nightmare)

How could any of this be real?

(The water was so cold, so fucking cold Gale couldn’t think and _Thom! Thom!_ But was he even shouting? He couldn’t tell and fuck fuck fuck fuck, _Thom!_ )

Madge knew she should count her blessings.

She was alive, Delly was alive, and both their mothers and Delly’s brother had made it as well. Even that blonde boy that had pointed them towards their lifeboat, Peeta his name was, had made it and he’d brought great news with him.

He was second class like them and they’d heard him searching through the huddled, wretched remains of the second class passengers, calling out for Delly. They’d waved him down, desperate for any news and he explained how he’d survived by climbing on the back of an overturned lifeboat, but most important for them had been the boy beside him, a boy named Thom. Delly, seemingly recovered from her head bump, had burst into tears and Madge had held her tight, both elated and terrified. Peeta’d smiled kindly and said Thom had asked him to find Delly and assure her that he was alright and he was, Peeta promised, safe and sound with the rest of the third class survivors.

He’d had no word of Gale.

(Gale couldn’t find Thom, could barely think through the cold and he tried to keep swimming, moving but _God_ he was suddenly so, so tired. _Maybe if I just rested a second…_

“Over here, son! Over here!”

For a moment, for just one frozen second, Gale was sure his father was calling him but no, that wasn’t possible. _He’s dead, just like I’m about to be…_

It was a man, one probably his father’s age but with a rounder face and fairer hair. He was waving at Gale, shouting words Gale could barely make out over all the wailing, screaming, praying but Gale swam over anyways, needed to keep his blood pumping. The man was hanging onto a large wooden door, his torso kept out of the icy water and he was gesturing for Gale to come closer, closer, closer.

“Yes, yes, here. Grab hold. You need to keep afloat,” the man said in a warm, soothing sort of voice and Gale did as he was told, grasping firmly onto the door.

“Are you alright?” the man asked and it suddenly occurred to Gale how strange this was. Why was this random man helping him? Why not climb on top of the door and save himself?

“Why…why are you doing this?” Gale managed through chattering teeth.

“Help will be coming, the lifeboats will be back for us,” the man said firmly and Gale almost found himself believing it too. “We all need to stay as warm as we can until then.”

That didn’t make sense, but then nothing made sense.

God, he was so fucking cold)

There had been no word of Gale, nor of her or Delly’s father. Were they all dead? It was a terrible thought, one that shook Madge deep down in her bones and it couldn’t be true, could it? But what if it was? What if they were all gone?

Madge had barely slept since they’d been found by the _Carpathia_ and that was the thought that haunted her.

_What if they’re all gone?_

(“Keep talking to me. We need to stay awake,” the man said and Gale nodded, forcing words out of his frosted throat.

“M-my n-name is Gale. I’m…I’m from L-London…”)

Madge followed her mother off the boat onto the dock and held tight to Delly’s hand. Hope dwindled in her chest and she knew there was no chance her father, Gale or Delly’s father had survived. So many had been lost. So, so many.

They were gone.

She had to accept that, had to somehow learn to live with the loss. Even though her heart felt like it was being torn to shreds, even thought she wanted to sob and never stop. How could they be gone?

 _I never even said goodbye_.

Madge felt the tears coming, felt her knees quake and her stomach toss. _They’re gone, they’re gone, oh god, why? It’s not fair, it’s not right! Why why why! Oh God, father, Gale…God…why?_

“Madge!” Delly said suddenly and Madge looked up, eyes burning. She followed Dellys’ line of sight and…

He was alive.

_He was alive._

 (Joseph Undersee looked at Gale and knew what he had to do.

The poor boy had passed out, too cold to stay awake and if Joseph didn’t do something soon, that young man would die. Help was coming, he had to believe that, but it was clear now that they wouldn’t both live to see it arrive. If they stayed in the water, they’d freeze and Joseph could feel his consciousness starting to fog, could feel numbness creeping into all his limbs. He had more fat on him than Gale, _extra insulation_ he’d always laughed when Margaret tried to make him eat better, and that had to be what was saving him so far, what was keeping him awake just a little bit longer.

It would be simple of course; to climb on top of this door and live but Joseph knew he couldn’t do that.

 _I’m sorry Margaret_ , he thought as he shuffled around to Gale, the water stinging and stabbing at his legs. _I promised I’d see you again soon, promised I’d find Madge and make sure she got off safe. I’m so so sorry._

 _I’m sorry Madge,_ he thought as he hefted Gale up onto the door, the effort stealing all the breath from his ice coated lungs. _I swore I’d find you, swore I’d always keep you safe. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry._

Joseph panted and used the last of his strength to rub Gale’s sopping legs, hoping against hope that he could get his blood pumping. _You’re young, you’re strong, don’t give up Gale, not yet._ This was the end, Joseph knew that, but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be Gale’s end.

_Forgive me Margaret, Madge. I love you)_

Gale was alive.

He was standing just down the dock and she didn’t know how, didn’t know why but it didn’t matter.

_He was alive!_

He turned as if by magic, as if he sensed her there and when their eyes met, Madge felt it straight down to her toes. 

_He’s alive!_

Madge stopped thinking, stopped breathing and ran.

_He’s alive!_


	9. Remember Me in the Days to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you are my dream, the very best dream of all

_An Ocean Between Us  
Epilogue Two_

April 18, 1912  
_Remember Me in the Days to Come_

Gale knew he was lucky.

He should be dead, he should have drowned or froze, but he definitely shouldn’t be alive. He didn’t remember much of that night; it seemed like a frozen blur in his mind. He remembered the cold, the terror, a pale man with a kind face and finally, voices, shouting voices from the lifeboats returned to save them.

(Madge had not slept, could not, and she found herself wondering if she ever would. She could still hear all the screaming, the weeping and there, like a phantom before her, was the _Titanic_ disappearing beneath the ocean.

It was gone and so, so many people with it.

_What of Gale? My parents? Are they alive?_

_Please, don’t let Delly and me be the only ones to face this new life._

Someone beside her gasped and Madge looked behind her and for a moment she was sure she was seeing just another ghost ship, but no, this one was real.

Rescue had come)

Yes, Gale knew he was lucky as the _Carpathia_ arrived in New York, even more so because his family had all made it and Thom too. There were all here, against all odds and that was a blessing that couldn’t be ignored. He was relived, ecstatic really, and he hadn’t let go of Posy’s hand since he’d found them, hadn’t been able to stop drinking in the sight of their faces. But even in the joy, there was something much darker too.

He knew he’d been close, so terribly close to death and he felt it still, the ice and the fear that seemed to fill him, swallow him and sometimes he wasn’t sure it had spit him out yet. Nightmares haunted him, stalked him and there was that man, blond and too kind, frozen solid to their makeshift raft. Gale didn’t remember climbing onto the door, had that man put him there? Had he died for a stranger? One who didn’t even know his name?

As glad as Gale was to be alive, there was a tiny part of him that hoped he hadn’t.

(“Madge! Oh my Madge! Madge!”

Madge turned and felt her legs nearly give out because there was her mother, alive and whole and pale with worry, but _alive_. Madge let out a sob, loud and undignified, and then she stumbled forward because no matter what she had lost, at least she hadn’t lost everything.)

Of course, there was another worry that ate at him, one that burrowed in deep and whispered wicked things in his ear.

Madge.

He tried to reassure himself that she was alright; after all, she had to be. She’d gotten on a lifeboat, that meant she was alright. It had to.

Right?

(Madge studied every face that passed, because one that to be her father’s, it had to be.

She ignored the fact that the area set aside for the second class passengers had almost no men, that they seemed to have taken absurdly high casualties, because of course her father was okay, of course he was.

He had to be)

The pier was crowded, loud and the rain sunk into his clothes, but Gale lingered a little longer than necessary. This was his only chance to try and find Madge, and he couldn’t just walk away. He remembered that night in her cabin, the promise that they would stay in touch, somehow, someway. He held on to that and looked and looked, because _she was here, she made it, I know she did. I know it._

And there she was.

(Madge was overjoyed to hear about Thom, about Peeta too.

But still, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t angry too.

_Where was Gale? Why was there no news of him?_

_Why? Why why why why?_ )

Madge Undersee was running towards him, blonde hair soaked and blue eyes bright and no matter how long he lived, no one would ever look as beautiful as she did right now. He felt his heart seize in his chest, felt his blood burn and she stopped just in front of him, lips trembling and hands shaking. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, never ever let her go but he felt almost paralyzed, because this was too good to be true. He was alive, his family, Thom, Madge, they were all alive. This had to be dream, didn’t it?

“Gale,” she said and suddenly it didn’t matter.

_Let this be a dream and let me live in it forever._

“Madge.”


	10. A Taste of Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end is just the beginning

_An Ocean Between Us  
Epilogue Three_

April 18, 1912 _  
A Taste of Tomorrow_

_Kiss me_ Madge had thought once not so long ago (though it felt like centuries) while standing on the deck of the greatest ship the world had ever seen. The stars had been bright that night, the salt air teasing her skin and _kiss me_ she thought again, standing now on a rain soaked pier with slowly melting ice in her blood. Gale had not kissed her then but he kissed her now, his fingers soft on her cheeks, his mouth hot with relief. Madge collapsed into him, their bodies folding into one and for a moment, as short and quick as the spaces between her heartbeats, she glowed.

She knew, of course, that the pain would come again; the scars _Titanic_ had left her ran much too deep for any kiss or touch of Gale’s to heal. But as he held her, as she held him, the sharp edges of her pain softened, smoothed, at least for a little while and maybe, just maybe, there was something a little like hope burning in her heart.

 “I love you,” he breathed into her lungs and “I love you too,” she swore, the words falling from her tongue to his.

There was a tragedy inside of her, inside all of them, and the taste of blood still hot between her teeth, but still, for this moment, warm and sweet and fragile, the world felt just a little brighter.

_you really are my dream come true_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked or commenting, it meant the world! :)


End file.
